Reduce accidental complexity across three files

sitecustomize.py:
- Replace _PATCHES dispatch dict with if/elif in exec_module; removes
  coupling between dispatch and _record_status's count barrier
- Drop _record_status count barrier entirely; both patches fire within
  milliseconds during the same import sequence, write-on-every-call is safe
- Replace _broken_url regex with str.partition + startswith checks; same
  semantics, no regex knowledge required to read
- Replace @staticmethod decorator inside plain function with explicit
  staticmethod() assignment; decorator form creates a descriptor object,
  not a callable, which confuses readers expecting class-body usage

apply.sh:
- Inline warn/ok helpers; each was one echo with a prefix, the indirection
  cost more than the abstraction saved
- Collapse patch_ui.py if/else (whose if branch was a no-op comment) to
  a single || fallback line

create_task.py:
- Remove vestigial (_client, _args) params from cmd_verify; it was pulled
  out of dispatch, the params were never used
- Replace 3-entry dispatch dict with if/elif; dict implied a uniform calling
  convention that verify already broke

patch/create_task.py

@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ def make_client(host, api_key, insecure=False):
 
 # ── Sub-commands ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 
-def cmd_verify(_client, _args):
+def cmd_verify():
     """Print the hook status written by sitecustomize.py at middlewared startup."""
     if not os.path.exists(_STATUS_FILE):
         print("No hook status file found.")
@@ -233,19 +233,19 @@ def main():
     args = p.parse_args()
 
     if args.cmd == "verify":
-        cmd_verify(None, args)
+        cmd_verify()
         return
 
     if not args.host or not args.api_key:
         p.error("--host and --api-key are required for this command")
 
     client = make_client(args.host, args.api_key, args.insecure)
-    dispatch = {
-        "list-credentials": cmd_list_credentials,
-        "list-tasks":       cmd_list_tasks,
-        "create":           cmd_create,
-    }
-    dispatch[args.cmd](client, args)
+    if args.cmd == "list-credentials":
+        cmd_list_credentials(client, args)
+    elif args.cmd == "list-tasks":
+        cmd_list_tasks(client, args)
+    elif args.cmd == "create":
+        cmd_create(client, args)
 
 
 if __name__ == "__main__":